Bro… She’s too young for you.

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PICTURE THIS: You have just met a beautiful girl at the mall with her friends. She’s young, attractive, got a cute little body and appears to be intelligent. So you are shooting your shot, she’s smiling and y’all are vibing and everything seems to be copacetic. So you ask her “How old are you?” and she responds, “18“. You are now puzzled because you are a few years older than her and you don’t want to appear as a “cradle robber” to your boys. Yeah she is legal but is she still too young for you? Her body may say she’s grown, but what does her mind say? Her mentality?

Now hold on homie, before you get too excited over your spanking new, barely legal tenderoni, there are some signs that she may not be the one for you. Of course, if you are looking for a girl who is still finding herself and is too vain to comfort your ego, then I bid you farewell. However, if you are a little worried that you and your Jail Bait Bae may not have anything in common then you might want to continue reading.

Now I am a eighties baby, a nineties kid, I was already a pre-teen at the turn of the century. So if you are along with me, you should be in your mid-to-late twenties. Finding love isn’t easy and the dating game isn’t for the faint of heart or quitters. When you find someone and you have an immediate physical attraction to them, sometimes morals can go out the window. But when you start to talk to them, you will eventually realizes that this girl may be too young minded for you. So I have composite a short list of things that might you want to take into consideration, when you looking to see if your boo is too young for you.

10 signs that your girl is too young for you

1. She is not familiar with the original nickelodeon cartoon lineup: The Rugrats, Rocko’s Modern Life, The Wild Thornberrys or Rocket Power. If you ask her what her favorite Nick cartoon is and she says, SpongeBob Squarepants or The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron, she’s too young for you.

2. If she has never owned any of the following, you are talking to a kindgartener.

a) Spice Girls Doll
b) Butterfly hair clips
c) Platform Sneakers
d) Baby Phat Jeans
e) Tamagotchi Pet

3. If she doesn’t remember the names of the original members of Destiny’s Child and she only remembers them as a trio, then she is too young for you.
(It’s Beyonce, Kelly, Latoya, LaTavia and Farrah.)

4. If you ask her who is the Black Mamba and she says Beatrix Kiddo and not Kobe Bryant, she is too young for you and she is not into sports. DO NOT DATE HER.

5. If she doesn’t know the original Character names of Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers, not only is she too young for you but also have no respect for vintage children TV shows. (It’s Jason-Red Ranger, Kimberly-Pink Ranger, Zack-Black Ranger, Billy-Blue Ranger, Trini-Yellow Ranger and later Tommy-Green/White Ranger.)

6. If she can’t tell you who this is, she is most definitely too young for you.
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What is wrong with you, son?!

7. If she think that Michael Jackson has always been a solo artist, she is too young for you. In fact if she really believes this, it is your responsibility to teach her everything Jacksons, from Joseph down to the little baby that no one knows about.

8. If she can’t tell you the story behind the pictures of these iconic sitcom episodes, she’s too young for you.

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9. If you ask her who is the greatest rappers of all time and she doesn’t name one of the following, she is too young for you.
a) Jay-Z
b) Nas
c) Biggie Smalls
d) Tupac
e Rakim/Eric B
f) Eminem
g) Dr. Dre

*If she names anyone whose career started after 2005, she’s too young bruh.

10. If she knows nothing about blowing into the game consoles before starting up the game, she is a newborn. Before there were fancy disks that you would slide into your PS3 or downloading games directly into the game system, you either had a Super Nintendo, Nintendo 64, a Sega Genesis, or even a old vintage Atari system. If she doesn’t know or never played on any of systems, she’s a fetus.

Well there you have it, the 10 signs that your girl is too young for you. Now of course, this is a short list of many things that can help you determine if she may not be the one for you. It’s true that love knows no age, but the law does.

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