You’ve met someone and you genuinely like them. They’re cute, smart, talented, amusing.. They’re just perfect. And they feel the same way for you. But like all relationships, problems rear its ugly head and add all bumps, in that one time bump-less road. Jealous friends on either side, family affairs, cheating, deceitfulness. There are a number of things that can and will occur and it can destroy your relationship, if you don’t know how to subdue it.
1. Jealous Friends:
It’s devastating to find out that you have a friend who doesn’t hold your best interest at heart. When they see you happy and they try to ruin that for you. With allies like that, unfortunately, is a dime a dozen. And there are times they aren’t friends, just random unhappy, bitter people. You can find them anywhere and they won’t always bring out their true colors in the beginning. They will discover ways of making you doubt the man or woman that you are with. They will attempt to make you question if you are worthy of being in that relationship. To see things that aren’t there, because they are jealous of your velocity, your happiness. And may even try to set the blame on you and accuse you of always having those thoughts, when you know otherwise.
Remove them out of your relationship, Remove them out of your life. You don’t need that type of negativity around you. This somebody is into mind games, games that can cost you a wonderful relationship. People will not always have your best interest in mind, people will not always want to see you happy. This isn’t a page of out “Bitter People Chronicles” this is the facts, it’s life. Most people will attach themselves to you, when they see that you are down and out on your luck. But the moment things start to look up for you, they will get jealous and envious and want you to be down on your luck as they are. Remove these people out of your life and don’t look back.
2. Family Affairs
So his Mother decides that you don’t cook as well as you should, or you don’t tend to her son as she would like you to. Or maybe her Father doesn’t feel like you are man enough to take care of his daughter as he has. We all have dealt with an overbearing parent. Whether it is the parent of our partner or even our own parent. It’s not easy to approach them without seemingly being disrespectful and it may even cause arguments between you and your boo.
Talk to them. Try to reason with them. When it appears that you are listening to them, they may learn to loose up the reigns a bit. Parents want to see the best for their children and whether it is you that they are working hard on, or the person you love, their aims are usually for the greater good. Usually. Learn to maintain your relationship problems in the relationship. You may forgive your boo for always being late, but your family won’t. And they will bring that up every opportunity that they can. The more people involved in your relationship, the more problems that will occur. Work it out with your love and keep your family out of it.
You may have found out that your woman has been sleeping around with some other man. Or your man was becoming emotionally involved with some other woman. It’s unfortunate when these things take place, and there are times it is out of impulse, while other times it is by totally accident. It doesn’t fix the situation, and it doesn’t the hurt go away. But I am a firm believer that anything can be repaired with time, love and commitment.
It hurts bad. And you may want to just pack up your things and walk out of this person’s life forever. If this individual is a compulsive cheater, I say kick their ass to the curb and don’t look back. But if this is a one time thing, there may be room for fixing. You have to ask yourself, if this person is truly remorseful for what took place. Soul searching is required here, and time apart can help that. When you have had time to work on yourself and have decided that this relationship is worth fighting for, go to a professional. A third unbiased party can help bring forth problems that may have led to this issue to happen. Practice sessions, talking to one another, and prayer can release the hurt that it has caused and the will to start over.
You have to buy extra coverage concealor to hide that black eye that you have. You’re dropping thousands of dollars repairing the things, your girlfriend is destroying. Your car has been keyed, she hits you in front of people. He belittles you in front of his family and friends and tells you that you will never amount to anything without him. He calls you all different obscene names and you tolerate it because you love him.
The only solution there is, is to come out of that relationship and run as far as you can. There is nothing good coming from it and love is never suppose to hurt. Ever. You was somebody before you met them, a whole person. You lived, you laughed, and you breathe before you met them. You are somebody who is strong and willing to get out of this place. You have to trust in yourself and get help. Tell a family member, tell a friend, tell a stranger, anyone who will listen. And if they don’t listen, MAKE THEM LISTEN, because your life is on the line and help is only a call away. Take your power back, don’t be another victim.
Emergency services – #911
The National Domestic Violence
Hotline – 1.800.799.7233
Safe Horizon – 1. 800. 621. HOPE