It took a while for me to get my mind in the right place to write this post because his death was such a devastating blow to myself and others. I listened to his music all yesterday, with the hopes that maybe it would make sense to me, but all it really did was make the pain even more unbearable. As I tried to comfort myself with the news of his untimely passing, I couldn’t help but revert back to 2009 when my other Idol, Michael Jackson passed away so unexpectedly. Some people carry such a huge torch that dying is almost impossible. You could never fathom that these immense spirits would ever leave the earth realm. It’s kinda sad to think about it, but you would almost imagine that they would live on forever. But they will, through their music, their legacy and the things that they have originated and created for us to enjoy and to love.
With Prince‘s passing, like Michael’s, I learned a lot about myself during those times. It was a time for me to discover what I want to do to leave my mark in the world. My biggest fear to date is not someone but something. And that something is to live a life unfulfilled, to live a life where life just passes me by. To live a life where all my dreams and goals and ambitions follow me to the grave. My biggest fear is to die forgotten. I spend a lot of time in my thoughts, trying to piece together the things that matter to me the most and how to effectively express that to the world. How to articulate my passion on an intangible platform. It has nothing to do with fame, nor fortune because that is the least of worries, the last thing I want to carry out. I took $20 out of my pocket and bought the domain to this website, with no intention of making capital off it. I bought it because it was mine to buy, and I wanted to own something that could make a difference to someone else. As I have worked for Hollywood Unlocked for the last 3 months, I am doing something that I love and not getting paid for it, because it is not about money for me. It is about building something that I can leave behind for my son and possible future children after him.
Thinking about how Prince and Michael have broken barriers for both Male and Female Black Artists today tells me that, what they did make a difference, their thoughts mattered, their ideas inspired, and their creativity made a mold in the world. Have you ever had a dream that mattered so much to you, that the thought of never making it happen just breaks your heart? Have you ever felt the need to tell everyone that you meet how you are going to make a difference and how you are going to change the world? If you ever had those moments, then you are required to see that dream to the end. That is a gift, a dream that started off as a seed that was planted into you long before you were born. A lot of people never discover their life purpose and they end up living these mundane lives that they have to trick themselves into believing is something that they want. When in actuality, They are afraid to look like a fool, They are afraid to make mistakes, They are afraid to live. Michael made music that was for everyone, he wrote music with us in mind, he creates this global force that drew the world into him. Such a powerful impact for one man to have, and he mastered it. Prince, he lived in a world where he was too eccentric, too bold, too daring and fearless and yet, he mastered the gift to make people stop and get him their undivided attention. Significant.
It is not coincidental that I am writing this on Earth Day. It is not a coincidence that I am writing this during the time that 5 planets are in retrograde, it is not even a coincidence that I am writing after a full moon in Scorpio. Everything has a meaning, everything has a purpose, but it is up to you and me to learn what that purpose is, and why it means something to us. During this time where there are 5 planets retrograding (Jupiter, Mercury, Mars, Pluto, and Saturn) we have to step out of the equation, out of our protective bubbles and allow ourselves to learn the ugly side of us and embrace the beautiful side of us and merge them together. Jupiter and Mercury being the most important, (in my opinion).
Jupiter in retrograde is all about inner exploration. Discovering YOU. It offers the opportunity for a highly spiritual incarnation. You must seek your own Truth, for, the mundane is likely to leave you feeling unhappy. Great wisdom and prophetic ability will appear, especially as you gain spiritual maturity. I think it wasn’t until yesterday I realize just how of a HIGH spiritual plane, of HIGH vibrations Prince was. Which only encourages my own spiritual growth in life. Jupiter retrograde is all about going after the opportunities handed to you.
Mercury in retrograde again is about turning your thoughts from other people back to yourself. You may even go through old bullshit and lessons that you have not completely learned to regain the strength you originally had. Your thinking is more subconscious than conscious, which only means you will absorb lessons by their overall meaning and not much of the details.
I feel like I am writing this to myself too. A reminder that I was put on this earth for something magical, just as much as I am trying to remind my readers that they were put here for something magical as well. We are living in the times where everything is a competition of who can do what better. And in the midst of the competition, nothing gets done. Michael and Prince were focused on being the best “them” that there ever was. Was male competition of overwhelming testosterone and ego present? Of course there was. The Complexity and intellect of the Gemini man versus the precision and perfectionist Virgo? How could they not see what they were to one another? Competition.
But their life purpose, their mission was bigger than that, and it showed in their work.I ask that you take a moment and ask yourself, “What was the most rousing event in your life?” What moment in your life inspired your rebirth? I was reborn when Michael died. I knew at that moment that life was nothing to take for granted. I realize that I was just living, and that I wasn’t LIVING life. When my son was born two years later, two days after what would have been Michael’s 53rd birthday, I discovered what my life purpose was. That was to be a mother. Something that I never thought I suppose to be. When my grandmother passed away, I was broken. I was broken because I never seen my mother in so much pain. It broke me to see what I have always known as a strong woman, cry for her mother like a child. That broke me as a person, a mother and a woman. And it took me a long time to put myself back together, especially when I had so many outside negative influences trying to further break me. But yesterday, I was reminded of that feeling that I had seven years ago. It came back in full circle. So again I ask what one event in your life, changed your way of thinking forever? That moment, that one single moment in your life when you were reborn? A rebirth to undo all the things that you have done before then and start anew. And ask yourself why that moment meant so much to you?
I end this post with thanking Michael and thanking Prince for all the beautiful music that they have created, the amazing humanitarian and philanthropy efforts that we were made aware of and the ones that we will never know about. Thank you for being a pillar and a formidable force in the industry and in the world. There will never be anyone like you two, not now, not ever.