Is Dating A Celebrity A Life Achievement Or One Of Life’s Biggest Regrets?

Does dating a celebrity have it’s benefits?

Growing up as a teenager, I always had a crush on some hot boy of the moment. Whether it was Jonathan Taylor Thomas, Romeo from Immature/IMx, or even Lil Fizz from B2K, my girlfriends and I would swap posters and magazines in exchange for small talks about our imaginative dream life with our celeb crushes. Last night, I was watching an episode of “Iyanla, Fix my life” which featured the nephew of Michael Jackson, Taryll Jackson and girlfriend of 10 years, Breana Cabral. During an isolated conversation that she had with Breana, she pointed out something that I have asked my own self million of times before. “Can you date someone of status and not be swarmed in by the luxury lifestyle of the rich and famous? Can you just love the person for them? The real them?

I suppose my real question is, “How can you separate the person from their fame?” When we look at a celebrity crush, some of us may have the opportunity to learn more of that person than what meets the eye, but the majority of the time, we know of the public persona that they have created for themselves. When we go by what we know OF them and not ABOUT them, there is always room for assumptions and disappointments. While watching this episode of “Iyanla, Fix my life“, Iyanla Vanzant made a very strong statement to Breana, that caused her to be defensive off back. “There is a part of you that has a fantasy, about being in a relationship with Michael Jackson’s nephew.” I didn’t (and don’t) see Breana as a woman who was looking for a man to take care of her, because I knew of her career beforehand, and she ran a very successful Event planning business. But I understood the underlining of the statement from Iyanla, because being a part of something so big and renowned as the Jacksons, a presumption is placed upon a person as a Gold digger or an opportunist. Sometimes, you really can’t help who you fall in love with.

Angela Domschot, a former classmate of Katie Holmes claimed that Katie used to pray for the opportunity to marry her now EX husband Tom Cruise. “In religion class, when we were about 16, we would have to say prayers to keep a certain someone safe and out of harm.Katie would say it for Tom Cruise. We did that every day, so she would have said thousands of prayers for him.” She even went as far as to say that Katie would hide pictures of Tom in her textbooks, and said that one day she will marry her childhood crush. Aside from Katie dreaming, marrying and divorcing her crush Tom, Nick Cannon has also said that he too, dreamt of marrying his ex-wife Mariah Carey before actually marrying her. On an episode of Late Show, Nick said that he WILLED his marriage to Mariah  “into existence”. “I used to tell everybody that’s my celebrity crush, I spoke it into existence,” he said. “She heard that I was putting it out there in the atmosphere. She didn’t think I was a stalker, so that was good.” After 6 years of marriage and a set of twins later, Nick and his DREAMGIRL Mariah filed for a divorce.

Being someone who happens to date someone in the industry is not an entirely easy thing. As we learn more and more about the person that we are dating, we learn about the lifestyle that comes with them. It can be especially hard for those who chooses not to be a part of that lifestyle, because becoming a part of their life, you have to be their calm. This lifestyle that they may or may not have been born into, can be something that is stressful and taxing on them, and as the one thing that isn’t a part of that life, you have to remind them that life can be serene. Looking from the outside in, I look at this relationship of Bre and Taryll as a couple who loves each other, but don’t quite understand one another. They don’t understand the difference of their habits. Taryll is used to this life that he has lived, the fame and fortune, the attention and the lies in the media, etc. Whereas Breana comes from a life (like myself) where we could only dream of what it would be like to live that particular lifestyle and to be brought around it, it has to feel like being sucked into a vortex. How can one manage the madness for their partner when they don’t understand how to control it for themselves?

The dynamics of dating a celebrity doesn’t have to equal cracking under pressure. There have been many successful relationships and marriages between a celebrity and an average person that has exceed past the hurdles that this type of relationship can bring. Matt Damon met his wife of 12 years Luciana Barroso while he was in Miami shooting “Stuck on you”, she was a bartender. Meryl Streep and her sculptor husband have been married for 39 years, and even the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge Prince Williams and Princess Kate met in college. I mean, he’s frickin royalty, I can understand if Kate cracks just a tad bit.

Dating a celebrity has it benefits, many. Financial gain, notoriety and a security blanket. But dating a celebrity also has it downfalls, lack of privacy, outsiders influencing the relationship, and time apart due to work. Kate and Nick may be an exception to the rule, being celebrities who ended up with the person of their dreams, but even they couldn’t fend off the pressure that would eventually end their marriages. Yes, there are people who will get into a relationship with a celebrity because of what they believe they will walk away with, while others just happens to fall in love with someone the entire world wants. I suppose being in a relationship is never easy, but how much easier can be if the whole world is watching?